A Joke on the Scout
by Tashii-Loves-Music
Summary: The RED Scout is a troublemaker having pulled pranks on his team mates. Spy to the rescue? If you don't understant the story this should help start at 5:12 youtube. com/watch?v 7oBUwFUSsWk


On the RED team. There was a Scout that was a trickster. He was always pulling pranks if not that but thinking them up. His prime targets being his fellow team mates. He had pranked everyone on his team. His recent shenanigans consist of;

-Sneaking into the Soldier's room and taking his precious shovel and left it hanging on one of the high beams of the canteen area on a beam even the Soilder's rocket jump can't reach. Not that the Soilder didn't try. The rafter is missing to prove that.

-Spiking the Sniper's morning coffee with some of his BONK! drink. The outcome to this was the Sniper spending the day in the medic bay due to constant twitching making him 'trigger happy' on the battlefield.

-He when into the weaponry and painted the Heavy's 'sasha' with the words: "I love the doctor". The Heavy when on a angry rampage only being calmed down by the Medic. The conclusion? Don't touch Heavy's sasha.

-The Engineer's Construction PDA managed to end up being strapped to the back of one of the targets in the training room. This was discovered after the Pyro went at the target with it's fire axe.

-He found the Medic asleep in his office in the medic bay and stole his glasses. The Scout hid them just behind the back of his chair on the floor. The Medic awoke and in a panic over the location of his glasses caused him to reverse and break them.

-Whiles the Demoman was passed out in the hallway. The Scout emptied all his bottles of scrumpy and refilled them with the Sniper's jarate. The drunken Scots woke up not long after and took a massive swig. Spitting out the content and cursing in his thick Scottish accent.

- Lastly The Scout waited for the Pyro to be in the shower (with his mask on, per usual) before entering the group showering arrangements and putting itching powder inside his suit. This ended in the Pyro having to take another shower and enquire a new suit.

So far the Scout had gotten everyone. Everyone of course, except the Spy. True to form the Spy was very elusive even to most of his team. He spoke to the Solider only when being briefed. The Medic only when he required medical assistance and the Spy was also rumored to be seen playing cards late at night with the Sniper. The Sniper himself was also anti-social. The only team mates he befriended was the Engineer and the Spy.

However. One day when the Scout was having his early morning shower the Spy told the Sniper and the Engineer his plan to get payback for the Scout's mischief. The Sniper and the Engieneer both though that it was a great idea and agreed to spread the word to the other team member's, to get them all in the canteen to watch the Spy's plan unfold.

At breakfast the Spy entered the canteen, noting that the Scout was already present and was eating his usual syrup drenched pancakes. The Spy was also sure not to acknowledge the eagle eyes of the other team members as he took a seat across the table from the young Bostonian boy. "Good morning, Scout" said the Spy casually as he pulled out his signature silver cigarette case, flicking open its lid to retrieve a slender cigarette and placing it between his thin lips. The Scout eyed the warily for a moment before he decided he wasn't a threat. Fool. "Morning..." Scout replied his mouth full.

The Spy put away his cigarette case and retrieved a thin lighter lighting his cigarette. "Want to here something interesting, boy?" the Spy questioned as he inhaled from the smoke and blew it out in rings. He watch the Scout as he chew thoughtfully before answering. "Surprise me, fag." cockiness evident in the Scout's voice. This made the Spy grin. "Did you know that your tongue has its own memory, mon ami?" Spy asked discarding some ash onto the floor from the dusky red tip of his cancer stick.

The Scout scoffed taking a gulp of his BONK! drink. "That's bullshit". The Spy chuckled looking the Scout straight in the eye. "It is mon ami, you know when you think of something sweet like lets say...candy or syrup, you can imagine the taste of it on your tongue? Spy asked. The Scout set his can back down with a clank. "Yeah, so what?" Scout countered watching the spy take another drag from his straight. "and how if you taste something sour like Lemon you can imagine the taste it on you tongue?" continued the Spy trying his best to keep his face as serious as possible.

"Yeah..." Scout asked his voice giving away his curiosity at what his team mate was getting at. The Spy let slip a little smirk. He has him now. "Well mon ami, if you pretend to shake salt onto your tongue, you can actually taste it" Spy finished matter of factly as he took another breath of his nicotine stick. He watched as the Scout tilted his head back and pretended to shake salt onto his tongue.

At this point all the team begin to laugh at the Scout as he fell for the Spy's trick. "Holy Dooley Scout! I didn't realised that you swung that way!" laughed the Sniper with the Engineer beside him, who was also in part hysteric's. "I aint having no lady-man in my platoon soldier!" bellowed the Soldier and slight grin on his stern lips. The Scout stopped what he was doing.

"I ain't no fricking fag you fucking spy!" shouted the Scout angrily as he abruptly stood from his seat, his cheeks glowing a bright red. This only made everyone laugh even harder at the flustered Scout. "Ah screw you chucklenuts!" yelled the Scout as he charged out of the room. A hot mess. The Spy just leaned back into his chair and snuffed out his cigarette.

What a naive Scout.


End file.
